I am really having a terrible time. My anxiety is out of control. We left the house once today to grab eggs since CR is all about the hard boiled eggs right now. I freaked out. I came home and I just felt panicked even though I’m now safe inside the house. I want to go outside and take a walk because I’m so anxious but I’m too afraid to go outside. I’ll be comfortable in my backyard but now it’s getting dark, I should have gone out earlier. I did get out some of my nervous energy by cleaning.

I’m kind of glad I don’t have to take CR to camp for a couple more days, I really don’t want to go anywhere by myself. But I really shouldn’t give in to this anxiety either or it will grow bigger than I can handle. It’s not paranoia yet but it’s headed there.

I am not really sure where to go med wise. I don’t want any AP. They all give me unacceptable side effects or just plain don’t work. I would be willing to use haldol in the short term just to clear this up so I can get a grip and better use my skills, but not in the long term.

I know ADs can sometimes be used for anxiety but I can’t take any. Wellbutrin is the only one that doesn’t send me into outer space. I dunno if it’s helpful for anxiety.

I’m trying to employ skills but It’s not going my way. I’ll keep trying though.