Darkfeary, it sounds like you could one day tell a heck of a life story that will touch and change the lives of so many!

Some of the most inspiring, impactful people have the toughest life stories .. but I think it's because they endure so much that everyone who encounters them can then relate to atleast a small/ big part of their story. One day you could be helping others overcome their own struggles, if that's something you want!

In a meantime, I think taking things day by day, putting one foot in front the other, prayer, meditation, professional help, small steps in a new direction.. are good places to start. After years, you'll look back and marvel at how far you've come.