You have been a caretaker for 20years. It’s going to feel strange to step away from that mindset/role. It was a role you got used to and even though it was not healthy for you, there was a sense of safety to it because it was so familiar.

You wanted something more and went back to school and have been more involved with a life of your own. It’s not wrong to want a life for yourself You don’t have to live out your life as a caretaker.

It’s ok to still care about your husband. However, it’s important you see the ways he may use that selfishly to serve his own needs leaving you with nothing.