So Saturday evening at 6 PM I had a Zoom appointment with my T. We usually meet on Tuesdays but she had Covid last week and didn't feel well on Tuesday but she was feeling better by Saturday.

We had a pretty good session. We talked about a lot of topics and things that were bothering me. I felt really good about it.

Sometime after the session, maybe an hour or two later, still on that therapy "high" I sent my T a text. I said:

"Thank you for talking to me tonight on a Saturday. I hope you sleep well tonight and keep feeling better every day. Also I hope you will help me with some of the harmful voices and visuals. I know you can't say this back but I love you. xoxoxo Kit"

Several hours later T replied:

"Watch me.
I love you, too."

I didn't actually get her text until the next morning. I was kind of surprised that she said it back, although I shouldn't have been. She kind of has looser boundaries than I am used to.

When I first read it, I felt good. I felt like comforted and nurtured.

But it's been well I guess like a day and a half and I feel a little different about it now. Like maybe I was in that therapy "high" and feeling all warm and fuzzy about my T and that is what led me to open up that way. I kind of wish I didn't say it now--not because it isn't true--it is, but I just feel weird and vulnerable.

I don't know if it would have been better if she hadn't said it. But it felt good at the time, but now since I feel weird and vulnerable, it's just sort of perplexing to me.

I have an appointment tomorrow. My plan is to avoid all talk of this text message and focus on other things. And pretend like it didn't happen. But I know it does mean something to me because I pinned the text message to my favorites. Not too sure what to do next.

Anyone else been in this situation? Any thoughts, comments, etc welcome.

Thanks, Kit