Well, in that vein sqrl, allow me to elaborate on my personal daily experience.

I work M-F, 8-5. My boss says that we have some "issues" with my ability to do that on a consistant basis much of the time. And many of the days that I do show up, it is merely physical and no where near mental, emotional and psychological. I have even shown up incoherent, unclean and hallucinating from lack of sleep (fortunately, mine is a profession that I don't directly deal with the public, lol). However, I have the work ethic of a work horse. Somehow, someway the work gets done and it gets done right, even if it means that I sometimes have to repeatedly go back and fix my sometimes collosal errors. I'll stay late on the days I'm capable and come in on the weekends, again, when I'm capable. I don't go on vacations because my boss allows me to use that for my "mental health days". What is "unique" to my situation is that I have a boss and co-workers who not only tolerate my illness, but work "with" my illness. They see the efforts I make not just on the "job", but as a human being overcoming monumental adversity on many fronts, not just bp.

My home life...it's just me, my dog and my cat. I get some strange looks from them sometimes, but their unconditional love and understanding is all I need at the end of the day. I have no family. None. However, I have a special friend who's always willing to come to my home, this is where I function best. We watch movies, play cards, talk, cook, enjoy intimacy and generally have a lot of fun together.

I have my incredible faith in God and He has taken great care in giving me a life and lifestyle...a job, boss and co-workers...friends and neighbors that work with my illness, med free. I love my home. I'm most comfortable and relaxed here. I have a neighbor that looks out for me and walks my dog for me when I'm not capable of even that. He know's nothing of the life bipolar, but he never judges me, he's trustworthy and he's sweet. Again, my God provided for me.

So you see, I'm no monument to strength and greatness, I have in no way beaten this illness, my world is quite small, my human contact: minimal. But I'm comfortable with myself. I have self-esteen. I enjoy my own company. I love life and I love MY life. I FEEL my life because I don't take those blasted meds that just don't agree with me. And most importantly, I make the effort each and everyday to have a personal relationship with a God who is merciful, loving and wants to have a personal relationship with me, little 'ole me. I could not be more grateful than if I was a perfectly balanced person with the perfect husband and the perfect kids and the perfect job with the perfect bank account, living the perfect life. My life IS perfect for who and what I am.

I eat right even though I love, love, love junk food. I take my vitamins everyday. I exercise 3-5 days a week, not something I "enjoy" doing, but it's vital in order for me to have this life. I force myself to maintain a consistant sleep schedule, very important. I utilize my creative outlets in therapeutic ways, I take advantage of the beautiful nature God has provided and I always remember to be grateful for everything, even the hard things.

So there it is people....me, my life...naked for all to see. And I'm just passionate about it. Purrrrrrr.
TgrsPurr.