This is a good idea, to discuss what it means to each of you. Maybe that would help you feel more OK with it, Kit?

It makes me think of when Dr. T and I were discussing caring about someone, and it seemed like we had different definitions for it, or at least requirements. He seemed to think you had to know someone well to care about them, so when I told him...I don't know 6 months in that I cared about him, he was like, "How can you care about me? You don't even really know me." And I said I can care about neighbors who I barely know or even complete strangers. (It came up again a couple years after that, and then he said he felt I knew him pretty well, so he understood my caring about him.)

What's weird is, he seemed fine with my saying I loved him platonically not that long after the "I care about you" thing. Though he said, "It's platonic, so it's basically that you like me a lot." Me: "Uh, I guess so, yeah, sure." (even though it's not how I defined it, felt safer to go with his definition). Of course he didn't reciprocate and never would, I'm pretty certain (I haven't mentioned that in years). But he's very different from your T, Kit, or yours, Scarlet.