What you wrote about your parents, and in particular the instance with your dad this morning, feels so painful Slumberkitty. I am only reading your words and it feels painful, I can only imagine how it must feel for you... You have a loving heart and show your love and care to others so readily, it is sad to read that you were not met in relationships growing up and even now - with that other friend and your dad.

I see how this was indeed a big deal to say these words to T and have her say it back to you.

It makes sense that you would feel so many emotions - from embarrassment to confusion... I wish for you that T takes the reins, as you say. I think it might help entangle some of the confusion and/or provide you with reassurance.

All I will say (and feel free to ignore) is that when a relationship or someone is important to you, you do not hesitate to say it. You tell them how you feel. I see that as *so* brave... and so rare. People don't typically express how they feel and sometimes, regret not saying it when they had the opportunity. But you do - again, you have such a loving heart that you do not hesitate to say it instinctively. You spoke your truth SK, and I feel that is commendable.