I am sorry I struggled so much today. I'm not sure whether it was the bell thing or not, but I was certainly thrown by it so can only imagine it played into it. Thank you for offering to run over, to try and make up some lost ground. I am grateful for that. Something happened today, for the first time ever. I felt this overwhelming pull to look at you. To turn right round and look you in the eye. Once when I was seriously struggling. When I was feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, desperately searching for a way out but unable to find one, and then once at the end, when you said that you would go there with me, if I wanted to go there. But then you started tearing up, I heard the sniffle and you said you felt teary, and no way I am looking at you then! Let's be honest, I wouldn't have done it anyway, but I did turn my head a fraction and I did look at your leg, which is a massive first for me! Maybe we are making progress, after all!