Thank you for being so supportive and understanding the limitations of the situation.

I honestly think he has frontal lobe damage because many of his behavioral changes are things driven by that part of the brain. I honestly thought they would find a tumor or atrophy when they did the MRI, but that often won't show anything out of the normal until later - assuming he doesn't have a personality disorder or something like that that has run amock.

He and the therapist are chalking it all up to work stress and the stress of the tumor he had to deal with. But the changes took place before that. He told me before, and the counselor said at the appointment that he had experienced normal personality changes and I wasn't doing a good job accepting that people change.

She really has no idea and I honestly don't think she's going to take me seriously. I think I'm the one being labelled dramatic, when I've, in fact, been the voice of calm and reason.

Last night he was acting "normal", being polite, saying all the right things (but no empathetic connection, it's more like an act). When he gets like this, I feel like I'm losing my mind. Thank goodness I journal and can look back and see that he goes through episodes like this regularly- and my feeling like I'm going crazy because he puts on a bit of a normal front generally happens in July. July is also when he will seek a confrontation with me and generally say he hates me, or something like that. Things come to a hypomanic head every June and December for the last few years. And to lesser degrees at other points in the year. Can people with dementia cycle a little like bipolar? Maybe he was always bipolar and something else is making it worse? During the things I call hypomanic episodes sometimes his eyes will just bobble all over the place. He's not on drugs, but have wondered if that might indicate seizure activity or something. But hey, I'm not a professional and that symptom was just brushed off as well. As soon as he denies the hypomanic behavior, the symptoms I describe are disregarded as well.

One thing Ive noticed - not sure it's worth mentioning - is that he will often reuse big words that I use. Like if I use a word like "befuddled" he will use it back at me, usually within a few hours. As soon as he does it, he seems to realize he has and tries to justify the use of the word. At counseling, she asked me some questions about the initial rages and I told her that DD and I learned to deal with him by walking on eggshells. I know that isn't a healthy response, but it was how we survived at the time. The other night he kept saying that he was walking on eggshells- which is ridiculous since I never lose control. There's no reason for him to say he does that- he doesn't. Perhaps it's just projection, but it sometimes seems like he's covering something else. Like he can't engage, realises that he's incapable and covers by mirroring back something like that, which makes it my problem.

Even though he was being normal guy last night, I didn't spend much time with him. Worked in another room. For now I don't trust that he won't change very quickly, and I don't enjoy hs company as he is now. When he acts "normal", it feels like manipulation, like he knows he's alienated us and is trying to get back in (that's when I think about borderline).

Anyhow, as DD says- don't worry about it, he'll be someone different tomorrow.

Do wish I had a name because then maybe it would be easier to deal with until I can find a way to not have to.

Thanks for listening and feedback and support. You have no idea how much you've helped me thus far. Thank you!