I ****ING HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to die so badly. I can't do anything right. I just wander around the city hoping I get shot or hit by a car or something but I just really uncomfortable right now and I can't stand it I'm ugly crying and I called the crisis line and they're just like "well why don't you listen to music and write" so I went home and tried it but I can't stand noise my neighbors are playing music and I want to do violent things to them. And writing. I suck at writing. I have no ounce of creativity in me anymore and no craft either so why bother if it's just going to upset me more.

I ****ing hate my dad. I just want to get high and escape these feelings.