Thank you LT. I think a lot of it is stemming from my T cancelling, and asking if she could schedule me next week. Then I responded that I couldn't do next week (I'm volunteering--it's like a once a year thing at my Church, a week long volunteering thing) and that I guess we could push it out til the 26th but not getting a response to that makes me nervous because I don't technically have an appointment. And I don't know if she is okay or if something is wrong. My T is RANDOM so it's 50/50. She is either drunk off her butt in some bar somewhere in Vegas, OR there is an actual emergency. Either one does not make me feel good about her missing our appointment. It's not like her to not respond same day so it's concerning. So I guess sitting with the uncertainty is too triggering for me and I am looking for escape. I'm talking through it with a friend right now though, via text and hopefully things will be clearer for me. HUGS Kit