I know I ruined my life, I long to be married but at the same time cannot handle marriage. I've ruined my life and had to live with that forever. I'm currently feeling like my apt though nice is it.

I'm unlikely to move or afford to move. maybe I'll change furnishings in 10 years but overall I have nice stuff. I am on a waitlist for section 8 may move if that ever comes up. But I'm in my ideal location and a nice apt.

i have a job, which i may be sabotaging as we speak. I lost my temper with a client last week. pressures got to me and she made me later than I wanted to be and told her.

I feel like everything is good but it's all the same, never going to change, etc.. i know ultimately things change but status quo is depressing to me. Things with work are currently changing getting clients removed and new ones added. But that's mostly my doing. status quo got to me pushed for change.

How do you deal with status quo? Things are good but I guess I'm used to drama and can't live without it.