Quote:
Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul
There has to be a reason for it all.I agree with you when you say professionals are unable to pinpoint the exact reason.There is something I would like to suggest.If no medical reasons have been found for this drastic change in behaviour, then would you consider the possibility of someone else in his life.The reason for apathy and abuse since 2018 being ..he may be having an affair or something?Is that a possibility?
Some men do that after a long happy marriage because they are bored and want some novelty.Specially around this age.There is something called middle age crisis.Around this age some are looking for greener pastures if you know what I mean.
I feel very sad that you are at this point in your life where you are struggling so much.Hugs and prayers.
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Thank you. When he first started acting weird. I thought maybe he was trying to drive me away. Force me to end the marriage so he wouldn't have to do it- if you know how his family is, this thought makes sense. A few weeks ago he got agro and I asked him if he wanted me here and if he still loved me. He gave me some sad eyes and said he didn't think he could live without me. I'm not sure he meant in a loving way so much as in a functional way.
I don't think he is, or has had an affair. No missing time, no missing money. That's another thing, he's never been interested in finances, so I do 100% of those. That's probably a saving grace at this point, but another thing the doctors can say "well, he's keeping his finances together!". Anyhow, as time has gone on, he's gotten worse looking physically. Gained weight and DD commented at one time that it was like he started to get old really fast. I think he would seem more put together both physically and mentally if he were dating someone.
Though your post made me realize that he's gotten really into working out this last hypomanic phase. I have wondered if he's formed an attachment to the counselor, she's young and nice to him. They only meet online, and I don't imagine she would find him attractive in any way. Sadly, I use to call him "GQ" back in the day (even just 10 years ago) because while he wasn't traditionally handsome, he was always well groomed and well put together and a little bit rugged.
Incidentally, another thing I told the counselor was that DD came to me a year ago with a picture she had found in her room. She was distraught and crying. She showed me a picture of him taken six years ago and said. "The man who's in this picture isn't the man who lives in the house.". She was having trouble explaining this, but I told her that's why I put all the photo albums away three years ago. I'd start saying out loud to the pictures, "where are you?!". The counselor just gave me a dismissive, "uh huh, do you understand that this is his work stress?" It's not work stress imo.
Sorry to keep getting long winded. I have so much I just need to get out right now.