@bdice I am sorry your efforts are rebuffed. I think if I were in this situation, I would be inclined not to offer MIL help anymore because it only results in more abuse.
I would also talk to your husband and explain the situation to him. Unfortunately childhood family ties can sometimes trump marital family ties. I am not saying it is right but some adult children feel dominated and powerless to cope with strong parents.
I am not sure what the solution is but I would devote your energies to self care and taking care of your family the best you can. @CANDC
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