I get anxious around friendships. It’s a form of social anxiety I think, but I have no problem leaving the house and talking to people, it’s closer interactions I get stressed about.
I do overthink at times, and I question myself a lot. Although I really like some people I find it hard to really believe they could like me all that much back. When they don’t reply or go quiet for a while I tend to think that it was bound to happen. It does happen quite a bit.
I do have some suspicion I have autistic traits, and social ease doesn’t come naturally to me - interactions can exhaust me. I work hard at saying the right things is the best way to describe it, while still authentically being myself as much as possible (if I’m relaxed I can go on about subjects that fascinate me and know not everyone will want to hear so I try to reign it in). I might add I am a good listener and do focus on what others are saying, in fact sometimes I can get overwhelmed by people who talk a lot.
Sometimes I wonder if friendship isn’t for me, I have written this on here before and people said that was negative thinking, but it’s what I think. I am very fond of several people but it feels stressful sometimes trying to figure out interactions.
Maybe it’s pragmatic rather than negative thinking to think maybe it isn’t for me? Do some people live perfectly content lives with no close friends and acquaintances only?
|