I'll make an analogy. I had a co-worker who was married a few years. It was a good marriage, and the couple desperately wanted a child. They had been infertile, but were seeing fertility specialists to try and remedy the problem. My co-worker confided this to me, but she chose not to tell everyone at the job.

A superviser kept saying to her: "When you gonna have some kids? Don't you want kids? What are you waiting for?" Finally I told the supervisor to knock it off. I reminded him that there can be lots of personal reasons and that he should think about that. Well, a light bulb went on in his head, and he snapped. He was smart and basically decent. He said, "Oh, I guess you're right." He sounded a little embarrassed, and he never again queried the gal about her childlessness. This man was smart, educated and socially sophisticated. Yet, he was unknowingly tormenting that gal with his rude questions. It just completely failed to occur to him that this young woman's childlessness was not a choice, but was actually a heartbreak to her.

It is very wise to learn that some questions are wrong to ask. Some things are private and nobody's business. Some things are painful. I don't have a right to go up to someone, rip a bandage off a wound and think "I just gotta see what's under there!" No I don't gotta.