Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
You need to talk to a lawyer about what to ask for. It’s fair to assume that your husband has nothing. No retirement plan and no savings. He however must pay child support. There is typically a formula it’s calculated by. He will possibly avoid paying it, working under the table and not declaring it and not paying taxes but you still have to file.
Is the house under your both names? If you want to keep it, you’ll have to buy him out. If not, it will have to be sold and proceeds split.
Keep in mind that he is trying to empty accounts so you need to protect yourself. And he continues getting into debt which you might be liable for. See a lawyer ASAP.
I’d not worry about diagnosing him at this point, it only muddles the water and prevents you from taking care of business, it keeps you meek and powerless and perpetually guilty. Longer you focus on real or perceived diseases or syndromes he might of might not have, more likely you are to continue feeling guilty and less likely you are to pay attention to reality.
The reality is that he continues charging your mutual accounts and withdrawing money that aren’t spent on necessities and you want to send him more money. He has to send you money as you have a minor child at home, not the other way around
See a lawyer. Or legal aide
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Thank you. I’m not ignoring the legal part. I will file soon. I am a family law paralegal so I’m not too too worried. I’ve been taking steps and figuring out this and that. I will need to talk to an attorney since every situation is different and I don’t want to overlook something in mine. I can afford a consult now. I don’t want to talk to my own attorneys because I wouldn’t want to put them on the spot. What if they gave bad advice and then we’re working together
I was just superficially getting along with husband on text earlier, and it felt good for a second like maybe I really can let him go, but then I started worrying that us being nice would lead to him taking. I’m not forgetting. I have my new acct, just got my new card today so I don’t need the old one. I’ve been changing passwords and severing things before filing. Maybe I’m stalling sure, but I’d rather be confident in what I want than wishy washy when taking to an attorney. I definitely don’t want to file when I’m wishy washy. I need to do it right since it won’t likely be contested.
I swear I don’t want to diagnose him. He’s already been diagnosed. I’m just trying to figure how to change me. I think my dedication was to the idea of marriage. My feeling responsible for his life/death and “happiness” is from my upbringing. He and I are a lost cause and rotten from the start. I have to forgive myself for being in something so bad for me. I have to forgive myself for not caring enough about myself to be in a healthy romantic relationship.
I have to wipe the image of a beautiful happy and safe smile off his face. Stop embracing the perfect hug. I’ve been superficial-that’s the truth.
I need to file before he wracks up debt. I plan to start on paperwork this weekend.