Thanks everyone for the encouragement that seroquel might become less sedating at a higher dose. I took it at 4pm and fell into this weird twilight type sleep around 5:30. like I was definitely asleep but I was aware I was asleep? I was too heavy to move and I was so unsteady it was very difficult to make it to the bathroom. I felt like my knees would buckle underneath me.

Then my heart started pounding…I mean I’ve had a high heart rate for a couple of days now but this was so fast and hard I could feel it in my chest and ears. Again, correlation does not equal causation in regards to the heart fluctuation but it really turns me off of taking it tomorrow when I get home from work.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m supposed to do now, am I supposed to take more now that I’ve awoken so I can go back to sleep for the night? The dr didn’t say. I guess I’ll take my normal small dose with the rest of my night meds.

I don’t feel comfortable with RS laying next to me, I’m not sure if he’s an imposter. I thought he was and I wanted to hide but I’m 50/50 now. So that’s an improvement. He looks at me in a special way so I’m focusing on looking in his eyes because I would expect an imposter’s eyes to be vacant.

I am really trying to keep at least a toe in this dimension.

Each day I hold on to the hope that the next day will be better. It very well could be.