I'm sure this is a tough and difficult situation to be in. It sounds to me that you are desperately unhappy and your husband doesn't care that you are.

When he changed his address, did he just do it or did he talk about it with you? Did he talk to you and say I'm happy at the beach, I'm not happy here? Did he ask you to relocate with him? He doesn't seem happy when he "comes home" because it's not his home and he's not happy.

Even if he won't go to couples counseling, have you considered talking to someone for yourself so you can deal with your feelings? Your are right that this isn't much of a marriage and you can't change, fix or manage him. Your only option is to work on yourself.