I thought I could handle everything but it is getting worst per day... With the rate things are going I'm going to end up in the hospital in the psych ward.

I'm afraid that if I get admitted (and I would if they saw how I have been) would they decide that I couldn't keep this child and social services take it? Then I think I about that then I get more upset at myself for being like this.

I've hit the point of breaking things and screaming. I break things so I don't hurt myself. I just don't know what to do with myself. I just want the emotional pain to stop.

I've tried everything to be sane like exercising and everything but everything is just masking the reality of things... Once I realize reality I get so upset again.