Hi, I don't really know if I should post an update or not, since it doesn't necessarily concern avoidant personality disorder, so at the people reviewing and permitting my post: i swear, im not gonna be mad if you dont let me post this haha

I'm still avoiding all contact with my colleagues except for one, since they are my roommate and from time to time, they just are here and it's kind of impossible to avoid them. I had a psychiatrist appointment by now, but they weren't too helpful and rather made me have an existential crisis, but hey, at least they gave me a referral to a psychological diagnosis. I tried talking to them about me thinking I have avoidant personality disorder, but they ignored that and stuck with "you should get tested for emotionally unstable personality disorder". It drives me mad, that it seems like none of the professionals (except for my therapist - love u, sabrina) listen to me, when I want to talk about my mental health outside of selfharming behaviour and then they semi-diagnose me after talking to them for 10 to 15 minutes. I know it's not their fault that everything's underfunded and understaffed, but it really is frustrating me a lot, especially since the psychiatrist said (and outside of me translating this, this is a quote) "You for sure have a personality disorder." and let me walk out their office like a minute after. My therapist disagrees however, but doesn't know, how they would diagnose me, if they had to. Maybe the fact that they dislike the concept of diagnosing plays into that.

Conclusion is, I have existential crisis after existential crisis because everyone is diagnosing me with disorders I've never considered for myself, i really hope the diagnosis (whatever the result is going to be) is going to make this better, because right now, I am questioning everything I do and wether or not I am just doing it, so I just fit into one of the boxes I kinda got put into for the sake of having an explanation for my current state of being.

I wanna thank you all for your answers, they really helped me feel less alone and less helpless.