Although smart remarks go through my mind, like I could have called him "beer gut" or "lard gut" when he called me "lard ***"... or I could wait till the apropriate time to do it, I won't. Still can't come up with a comeback for "this is a good as you're getting from me." I know I've gotten this remark from him before, but I can't remember what he said.

All I plan on telling him next time I see him is "You know how you told me that you were really upset with me because of the cigarette butts? Well, now it's my turn to be upset with you. Calling me names, especially in my house, doesn't fly, Jim. I'd appreciate it if you refrained from making nasty comments like that to me." If he comes back with anything less that "ok" or "I'm sorry" I'll tell him to not bother talking to me, then.

I just don't know why I never think to say something at the time a rude remark is made to my face! I'm wondering if it's leftovers from when I was a victim. Maybe it doesn't even register at the time that it's said... and I just take it like I used to.

Before I married my first husband, who verbally, emotionally and physically abused me constantly, I was really quick with standing up for myself or with comebacks that usually shut the person up right away. I don't know... am I still in victim mode or am I just getting old and slow on the draw? Maybe it's just shock?

Anywho... I don't like not saying something at the time the nasty remark is made.