My Support Forums - View Single Post - Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

NP_Complete · Jul 23, 2022, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, NP, I'm really sorry you're dealing with all of that with P. I'd be really hurt by that, too.

Trigger warning, SUI/SH

Possible trigger:

I feel like some T's (mine included) are just weird about addressing suicidal thoughts, SH, etc. I'm not sure if it makes them uncomfortable, they aren't sure how to handle it and are afraid of saying the wrong thing, and/or they don't want to overreact so they end up underreacting, or something else. It doesn't excuse it--someone in that line of work should know how to handle it, even if it makes them uncomfortable or whatever.

It could be that P trusts you to reach out to him if you're feeling bad enough (though he should know you well enough to realize you might not be completely open about it--especially with a somewhat loaded question like "Can you be safe this weekend?" (as it probably felt like you had to say "yes"). However, you did that, and then he hasn't responded. He really should have followed up with you in session, and he definitely should reply to your email (does he usually reply on weekends?)

I think this is about him, not about you. Like there's stuff going on with him, maybe with his potential career change. That doesn't excuse it though. You deserve his care and support. In fact, he knows that this is a difficult time for you because of the anniversary, so it seems he should be giving you additional support.

I really hope you hear back from him soon. And, even more, I hope you feel better. Please keep posting here if it helps. We care about and support you.

Thanks for responding. I've been feeling terribly alone lately and it helps when someone interacts with you. I ended up sending him an email asking him to respond so I wouldn't have to sit here wondering if he was done with me. He did respond and he's not giving up on me. He said he didn't have time to write a thoughtful response but he's been worried I was giving up on him/therapy lately. I don't know why, but his response left me with this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe because he explained why he hadn't read my email yet by explaining what he had been doing today and that he was going out to dinner with a friend. I think that just made me feel really lonely. Then he signed off with "See you on Monday" which kind of felt like "don't bother me again". God, I am insufferable. I am apparently unable to be satisfied with anything right now.