My father was very traditional about gender roles. My mother worked once I went to school (I was the youngest of 2 girls). I remember my mother constantly being upset and annoyed and exhausted. My father would come home from work, relax, wait for dinner then relax more.

When I was a teenager, my mother, my sister and I were in a very bad car accident. My mom with 4 broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder, my sister with whiplash, a sprained wrist and concussion and me with a broken arm cast from my knuckles to my shoulder and a badly sprained hip and knee. When my father complained about having ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner that took the 3 ladies of the house a lot of time and energy to make, my mom stood up told my father we would no longer tolerate being his maids or his chef while we healed from our traumatic injuries. He was on his own for dinner. We took the sandwiches, the potato salad and carrots sticks and ate in the car. My mother refused to go back in the house and we went to a local hotel until my father apologized for being "an ungrateful. Inconsiderate sexist slob" (moms exact words). It took 2 nights/days without meals, no clothes ironed for work, no clean towels for a shower and running out of toilet paper for him to apologize.

My father pitched in a lot more after that. Taking out the trash, doing laundry, cleaning up and doing dishes. He was a terrible cook, but never again complained about what was for dinner. He was alot more involved as a parent too.