Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I can relate to you, and I empathize with you. I didn't get any closure from my ex-T. And she's been haunting me since. I send her an unaddressed letter every year on the anniversary. It's been almost 7.5 years. I also relate to feeling like "a loaded client" to my T. And I was. I actually told T I hated her at one point. She even was helping me look for another T. I wound up staying with her though. I think the turning point for me was when I realized I could never trust ex-T again because up until then I fantasized being able to go back to her.
I say she's haunted me, AND over time it has gotten a lot better. I only survived thanks to T and this forum.
What happened, you didn't deserve. You didn't do anything wrong. As L says: your job as a client is to show up and be open and honest. That's it.
And your reactions are normal reactions to an abnormal event. It's traumatic what you are going through. And I'm sorry you are forced to have to go through it.
Hugs
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Thank you, Scarlet. I remember you talking about sending her yearly letters and I was thinking about it the other day. I really understand it. I can see the appeal and the healing quality of it. I like that you do it and I like that you haven't disappeared from her horizon.
I have had fantasies about turning up at her door and not leaving. I don't imagine being aggressive or destructive, but being immovable and solid in such a way that she can't ignore me. It seems like a similar thing, albeit more intrusive than your letters, but then I suspect I am a more hostile being than you are!