It’s perfectly ok to sit and think about your history and recall the experiences where your husband actually failed you. Perhaps he was narcissistic always needing you to cater to HIS needs. When someone is narcissistic, they decide things are only important or if value if THEY think it has value or importance. So basically you are merely an object or character part in their made up world that revolves around them.

Recently I came across this, it may hit home for you.

Narc’s do not love, they USE. Love is their word for use. Just replace love with use and it all makes sense.

“I use you, I use you so much. I will always use you. I will never use anyone as much as I use you. You are the USE of my life, I will use you forever. My use, I will always be your user”