I'll see her this week, fortunately. But, I feel like I hadn't emailed, she wouldn't have initiated an email. Our last session was very difficult and I ran overtime because she triggered me, and had to leave while not feeling ready to go.

I wasn't doing well, struggling a lot, then she kept pushing me to say an affirmation aloud instead of mumbling it. It wasn't voluntary mumbling at all, it was due to immense shame, and I was trying my best. I already tried to tell her, because her firm tone can be scary to me (logic doesn't work on this). Then she said the triggering phrase (she actually knows it might be triggering) and set me homework. Then got me to leave by telling me to pack my things.

I'm also feeling conflicted because of simultaneous opposing wishes although I likely wouldn't be the only client with it...

Ages ago, T would give everyone the time they needed, and she still does, but it's a lot less. She used to give folks up to 30 minutes more, myself included. I've also gotten into trouble at my former full-time job due to her being extremely late: 45 minutes to over 1 hour, though it only happened twice.

I regularly ran overtime by 15 minutes because I honestly have difficulty grounding (not due to lack of practice, but internal stuff), so I set a goal to leave on time. I asked her to provide a 10 minute, or 5 minute time check. That helped a lot, even though I miss running overtime. I even got used to ending on time or occasionally 5 minutes overtime.

But she always made sure I left reasonably okay... until yeah our last session. Where she triggered me.

Then, there's the part where I wonder if she'd just tell me next session (and so giving no notice) if I hadn't emailed.

I know I'm fortunate to have her, and I'm on an unpopular time-slot.