I'm so sorry she's messing you around, Kit. It can't be helped, obviously...but it still sucks.

I think the first part of her response was an attempt to normalise what you'd expressed, but she could have accomplished that without the 'unhealthy' part.

I've had similar conversations with R about asking for things in the past...and now I can mostly look at her whilst I'm doing so.

'You can use this space to practice' is what she always likes to remind me.