I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your friends' mum. I think I might understand where your friend was coming from when she told you to call your mum. She is now realizing that we only have 1 mum and she doesn't want you to loose the opportunity to have some kind of a relationship with yours. I'm sure she means it with much love to you, but I think, if she's had a good relationship with her mum through the years, it might be hard for her to understand what you have gone through and what you are feeling towards and about your mum.

Of course you are disappointed consistently with your mum because she has never been able to give you the unconditional "safe" love that a parent should give a child. You long for that....even though in your mind you know she isn't capable of it, there are still parts of you that yearn for her to say she's sorry, take you in her arms and make everything all better.

It's hard to go between those two things....it will take time for your heart and your mind to come together in realization and acceptance of this situation.

When a parent is incapable of giving their child what they need because they are ill themselves....it leaves so many questions and such a difficult time to understand. In time, through your healing, it's very possible you will get to the point where you will understand and you will be able to put everything in a safe place where it won't re-injure you all the time. It will happen jinny....somewhere along your journey.

((((((((((((((((((((((( kerry )))))))))))))))))))))))))


sabby