Thank you everyone for your replies and thoughts. Probably will write more on this later. I'm kind of a mess at the moment and need to get my crap together so I can respond properly.

Hopefully I hear from my T about a time soon when we can actually meet. Although I have the "I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop" sort of feeling. Like maybe she is going to dump me as a client or something.

I tried to see if I could get a teledoc therapy appointment just to get some support but nothing was soon, so I didn't bother. I can probably see T before then.