Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
Yes, what they did to you is not fair.
I do question your T's idea about attending that school reunion. Does it really matter whether they were (or not) the same people. What matters is the impact of their abuse on you - which I think was 'missed'. Besides, abusers/bullies. rarely, if ever, admit to being abusers/bullies etc. They will downplay whatever happened. I am sorry it backfired - that sounds even more painful to have your truth and pain be dismissed and invalidated.
I just think that you also deserve to receive the care and support that you are offering Anna.
I hear that you don't want to go down the therapy route, that's fine. Maybe you can try to extend the same kindness and support that you offer Anna to yourself.
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Rive. Thank you!
I am trying to be nice to myself by e.g. attending cultural shows / events, getting relaxing massages or travelling. Things I really enjoy and like. I know and feel that those activities are good for me and I know how to do / get them.
What I don't know how to do is moving on even though I know that it's kind of blocking me – it's dragging me down and back. That's why I don't really see the point in going back to therapy ... she would just tell me to let go, I would ask her how and she would say that I have to find out for myself. Well, I know that she can't hand me a manual and I just follow the instructions... but then what's the point in going there? I don't know how to help myself – if I did I wouldn't need to attend therapy in the first place. Being supportive and kind to myself is pretty hard for me and I don't know how to, respectively. I guess because I was taught in school that I'm not worthy. I just feel stuck.
When Anna told me that she had a boyfriend again I felt happy for her and at the same time heartbroken. Not because she was in a relationship again – I felt sad, because she managed to move on (she lost her husband about two years ago) and I still don't know how to do that. I know these are two totally different issues, but I kept thinking that she achieved in two years what I'm not able to do since twenty.
She told me when and where she met her boyfriend – it basically was a coincidence or some sort of fate if you will. Okay, meeting people by coincidence is pretty common, happens every day... but how does one just meet the right one by coincidence? They seem to share a lot of interests / hobbies and just appear to be a perfect fit. This dragged me down even further. I don't mind being alone, I'm used to it, but recently I'm under the impression that I'm feeling lonely more often... I don't like that, but I don't know how to change that either...