Thread: Lets say...
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Old May 29, 2008, 08:31 PM
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kim_johnson kim_johnson is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2008
Posts: 1,225
Maybe the trouble is that appealing to 'lack of chemistry' with respect to why things didn't work is (for me) a little like appealing to a 'lack of vital spirit' with respect to why the rock doesn't move. That is to say: It isn't much in the way of an explanation at all.

I would just find it a great deal easier if I knew WHY he decided that he didn't want to commit to me. If he said 'I like you as a friend, but I'm not sexually attracted to you' then that would make sense to me. I could accept that. I could feel caring gratitude for time spent and look forward to us continuing to be friends. But he said 'no, that isn't it. I DO feel sexually attracted to you'. The not knowing why is the hardest thing. If we can look at what the problems really were then we could look and see if they are resolvable or not. At present... I don't think he knows why.

He doesn't need to know why for me... But he will need to know why at some point (or he will end up very lonely indeed). I guess I just need to accept that he is either unwilling or unable to look at the real reasons. Why is he unwilling? I don't know... I think it might be more about inability. Narcissistic vulnerability. I understand that, I surely do. But there is nothing I can do if he isn't prepared to work on this. I guess I just need to accept that...