I know it's wrong to feel this way but damnit how much is one person supposed to endure?

My dad moved out but had a package sent to my house. Was it an accident or was he trying to manipulate me into bringing it to him?

I don't know but it really triggered me and then this morning I did a ketamine infusion and freaked out. The nurse called it a k-hole.

I am 60. My monstrous parents are 80 and 85. I just want them dead.