I have these same thoughts often, kessa19. I had them worse or more persistantly when I first started therapy, especially about the skipping all over. I must have apologized a dozen times for just that.

We talked about this tonight (again). What to talk about? Am I supposed to come with something to talk about?

She said, let me tell you how it works "Say anything." "Anything at all that comes to mind. Start anywhere. Free associate. Go any direction at any time."

Even though I really knew that I asked. It was good to hear (again). I love to read psychology books and lately I think I've been trying hard to impress her. It's interfered with the spontaneity and I haven't liked that. She assured me that I don't have to bring her a 'gem'. Just come.

So, talk to your t about everything in your post. See what she says.