I also believe that most parents are really trying to do the best they can with what they know at the time. And They don't always get it right but I don't think it is because they didn't want to. They often didn’t have the awareness, access to information or knowledge that we have now and even now having all that can be overwhelming to navigate. BUT having the best intentions does mean that they did not harm you or cause you trauma that negatively impacts your life as an adult.

My parents for example have caused me tremendous amounts of trauma. Were they good people who were trying to do a good job yes. My mother for example had her own trauma and pain and didn’t realise the damage her actions were to me but they were and I am
Still Living with and trying to heal from the ramifications of that today.

Do I think their actions greatly cause most of my trauma? Yes but I can also understand the why. Knowing they meant well doesn’t take away from the fact that they didn’t. It does help me forgive them .