My mother loved me a lot as a child (still does). I was even her favourite. She would never have intentionally harmed me, but harm me she did nonetheless - very much so. I was emotionally neglected and spent a lot of time by myself.

It sounds very contradictory and just shows how complex trauma can really be. I was her 'good girl' and never really felt a child.

Even now my mother texts me many times a day and is deeply attached to me. I know I'm still her favourite.

And yet I've spent years in therapy trying to cope with how messed up my upbringing was, to the point I wasn't even 'allowed' to speak to my father who lived in the same house as us, and I was lulled into secrets about who else lived there.

I don't doubt that my mother did the best she could with what she knew and the situation we were in, but there's also no doubt that she traumatised me and I have had to live with that all my life.