I don't understand it..I truly don't!!
I'm happy yet deep inside I am crying and there is this empty feeling
All I keep thinking about is my next cut..about those dang knives in the kitchen.

I should be happy..excited but I'm not..I'm having a huge freakout..I was supposed to go over to a friends house tonight after kindergarden graduation..we've had a little gettogether planned for a few days now..a little goodbye party before we both leave for washington d.c. tomorrow..
I called and cancelled I made some lame excuse.

Why am I doing this..I just keep telling myself what a loser I am and how all these horrible things are going to happen on my trip. I keep thinking about how guilty I am..I really really hate me right now.

I just keep failing..tonight is going to be rough..