He said he’d contribute money today…yet not a peep from him. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He can’t at least put money towards things he’s using like car insurance, etc? The nerve. He is doing the moving carrot trick I guess. Whatever he isn’t spending on himself he’s probably throwing at others. If I ask for the money he said he would send today…what would he say? Anyone’s guess.

Im past my shock, guilt and sadness stages about the separation, I think. Now into some bitterness and anger. As I’m doing everything here, having no clue what he’s doing there.

I’ve tried so hard to never say anything bad about him over the years. I feel hateful towards him and the chaos he creates. I was submissive to him for decades DECADES and I completely regret being that person.

I told the attorney I work with what’s happened, today. He was nice to me about it, matter of fact, and I think perhaps I could run a couple things by him with little risk of repercussion. I need to plod forward, file, so I can stop worrying about what he’ll do next and how it might affect me.

I need to move on and accept I have given all the energy to this relationship that I could and now it’s over. It ran its course, and I realize it lasted years on fumes, years of lies, years of fears, years of frustration, years of verbal abuse, years of emotional abuse, years of dysfunction. My life for over forty years has been based on dysfunctional relationships. Probably a bit typical? But I’m hoping it can be different now!