I took a 6 week break once. It wasn’t voluntary, it was due to her vacation schedule and mine one summer. But it was a T for whom I had strong and uncomfortable feelings. I found the break did help lessen the discomfort.

Ultimately that T and I were not able to work through those feelings in a helpful way. I think we each tried our best but she was not able to just hold my maternal feelings for her and kind of move through that with me.

As painful as it was, terminating with her (unrelated to that 6 wk break) was really for the best. I now have another therapist about whom I don’t feel that way at all. Surprisingly, it didn’t take that many sessions (maybe 6-8 non-consecutive) to work through my feelings about former T. I think my understanding of her, our years work together, our most significant rupture and the intensity of my need for her is nuanced and compassionate toward both of us.

That experience and now being free from the weight of hellish transference has led me to different conclusions about the merits of staying in a highly charged, uncomfortable, transference relationship in hopes of working it through. (I’m talking years and years, not tolerating a few months of difficult work). Namely, I don’t think it’s worth the anguish.