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Old Jul 30, 2022, 05:49 PM
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Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
Might there be another way to look at this than a parts work paradigm? Like if you’re dissociating a lot can you work on grounding techniques, can you work with someone who understands polyvagal theory and helps you figure out how to recognize when you’re not doing okay (like you become triggered or something hurts your feelings etc) and how to move yourself back to okay?

Maybe just give your teenage part the privacy that teenagers tend to want and assure them that you’re there when they’re ready. then work on being there. Be the strong safe adult you needed as a teenager. Make an inventory of what strong and safe adults have and do and see whether there’s work to do on that? Would a teenager coming into your home feel safe and grounded? Is there enough routine and order? Do y’all eat regularly and have a bedtime? Are you strong enough to hold their swirling hormonal chaos and stay constant?

Teenagers hate to be chased and forced to talk, I have one now… but they’ll often come to you if you remain available.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, Waterbear