Thanks Favourite Jeans... That all makes a ton of sense, but I feel like I've tried this 'tactic' too!!
My therapist does seem to really understand dissociating, and together we do find ways to ground me when I get triggered in session, for sure. And I come back in the room, so to speak. I am finding it easier and easier in session to do this on my own, too, as time goes on.

And as for giving it the privacy it needs, yup, I totally understand that, as I was a teenager who pulled away every time someone came close. The more they tried, the more defensive I would be. So I can really relate to that happening inside me too. And over the last six years I've been in therapy I have given this as much space as I can, but still it doesn't seem to have encourage it to come forwards. Only recently have I tried this different tack of really trying to address it head on.

Interestingly, I nearly said 'confront' then... Which I guess could be revealing about how it is actually going down. It does feel like I am physically and emotionally wrestling with parts of myself, but only because nothing else has seemed to work.

Outside of therapy I don't really get triggered. Maybe because I try my damnedest to stay away from triggers. I don't watch TV shows that I know contain potentially harmful content; the radio gets turned off if certain words are mentioned and I don't socialise with anyone who has, or I think might, trigger me. Long term, not the ideal solution, but it works ok while I try and do the work.

Other than that, yeah, I am that strong, reliable adult that I should have had. I make time for all of the parts of me (adult and child), I do eat well, I exercise, I go to work, I communicate in my now healthy relationship after walking away from an unhealthy one.

The only thing I can think of that might be stopping this from happening is the way I, as the adult, view this teenage part of me. Not with compassion and kindness, yet, but with fear, trepidation, impatience and a little resentment/anger maybe.

That needs to change, but again, I don't know how.

It really does feel like the relationship between us had broken down so badly, and I don't know how to repair it. Except even more time. But this is costing me thousands of pounds, and that alone doesn't help the feelings of anger/resentment. It is like a vicious cycle, sadly.

Thank you so much fo suggestion/help though, and if reading my reply you have anything to push back against, please do!!