Anyone else find crying in front of your therapist unbelievably impossible?

Been seeing my T for 4 years, trust them like no one else, but still. I can’t cry. I sense even the smallest amount of emotion surfacing, and I immediately shut down again.

It’s frustrating me so much at the moment. It’s like achieving this is all I want to do right now. I just want to be able to let that guard down, to let them into that part.

If anyone has any advice, it would be appreciated