I've been with her for a little over a year and the more I like her and trust her the more I am afraid. I used to dissociate when I talked to her. The whole session was like a dream sometimes. I am not able to disapear as often anymore and although that's probably a good thing I feel like I have no defenses left and feel so exposed. I've had to walk out of a session midway because I've gotten so anxious. One day I asked if she would please work on something while I sat there and she did. She's very nice and brings me water and she let me take home a little box so I could remember her between sessions.
It used to be that I had aspects of myself that protected me and were good and could love. They seem to have abandoned me and now I'm left w/myself and I have no self esteem.
Thanks everyone for making me feel not so alone.