I have deep attachment wounds too.

I've seen several therapists over the years and worked on different levels and in different ways with each, as my adult life has in many ways reinforced the trauma I experienced in childhood.

First T was wayyy before the age of social media, mobile phones etc, but she did allow contact while on holiday (and to some extent between sessions, but she worked at a uni, so I used to pin the odd note on her office door). She used to go abroad 2-3 weeks every summer and give me a mailing address to which I could send written letters via - gasp!- the actual post, but of course they took a week or more to arrive so there was no response, just comfort in knowing she would receive it.

Both T2 and T3 allowed some contact between session, but rarely replied. Neither allowed contact while they were taking time off.

Current T is pretty unconventional and relaxed but even with her it is boundaried - pre pandemic our agreement was two texts a week max, which I know sounds a lot to some people, then post pandemic life got more difficult for me so she loosened the agreement, especially this year when things have been awful, so she never puts any sort of limit on it, but I'm aware enough of myself not to take advantage and I don't want to be stuck in the stress of needing replies from her.

Her replies are also pretty boundaried as she only ever sends a quick response over text and she doesn't do therapy over email, so any issues or questions that need anything more than a simple response are not responded to at all.

I can and have sent audio messages but she never responds to these. She will always listen though and I'm grateful for that. She will ring me if she has the time and I ask, but I very rarely do, and lately she has been so busy that a call is impossible anyway.

She never charges for any extras.

I'm very thankful for her. I've been able to do a lot of deep work with her as a result of how available she has been and I'm definitely a lot stronger than I was. I know she cares and I'm not just a client. And I know that even though she is flaky and upsets me, nothing is ruined.