Dear T, so, maybe you do know what you are doing after all. Funny, I expected you to pick up on that over and above everything else. I can only imagine it's my feeling out of control that had left to me... Suggesting? That you have no idea what you are doing.

I feel really really strange right now. I'm not sure what it is, but I can't say it's a pleasant feeling. My head feels really tight and I my body feels really tired. I've come out for a walk, and I'm just sitting by the water at the harbour watching the boats sailing in the wind. I wonder if this feeling is me processing what we talked about today.

I guess I'm glad you took us down that path. There were two reasons I didn't want to tell you. One was definitely that I had things in my head I wanted to say, and answering your question took us away from that, but the other was indeed shame, and a general dislike for talking about anger. There's a great deal of work to do around that, so yeah, in a way I'm glad your persevered and 'made us go there'.

My physical reactions took my by surprise. The first time I flinched, and went to protect my head. The second time, the tears came, and I don't understand why. Didn't understand why. Maybe I do now. Maybe it makes me sad that as a young person I was so scared of anger. Maybe it makes me sad that I'm still scared of it today.