Your post is most helpful and I am so glad you shared it. I think you have a very good attitude.

Your post reminds me of a quotation from, I think, Isaac Newton: "Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." Not sure it was Newton who said or originated the saying.

Your post also reminds me of the long history of the idea of "mental reservation." When there is a conflict between the duty to be honest and the duty to be just or charitable, what should be one's priority? That whole discussion is very interesting to me.

During the Holocaust, some Holocaust rescuers hid Jewish people or other hunted minorities in their homes. When the Gestapo or other Nazi police went to their houses they would ask: "Are there any Jews here?"

The Holocaust rescuer might reply in a somewhat deceptive or ambiguous way: "There are no Jews here [meaning right here where I am standing] although to the Gestapo it might be taken to mean that there are no Jews in this house."

Things like this have been extensively debated in philosophy over the centuries. When does one's duty to charity or justice outweigh one's duty to the truth?

Sometimes a group of people can share a set of values while disagreeing how those values ought to be prioritized.

There are many stories of situations like this going back all the way to the Bible and manuscripts from other ancient civilizations, like when Abraham said his wife was his sister to protect her from being murdered.

In less weighty matters, I think it has long been debated about when withholding the truth is a matter of tact.

A case in point might be if a person with a severely disfigured face asks: "Am I ugly" and one thinks that this person is ugly, is one required to expose that person to the naked truth of what one thinks or would be it better to respond in a charitable way, even if such kindness does not do complete justice to the truth?

Of course different philosophers with different axioms and such have different views and their differences have created a very wide range of views.

I can see how one's philosophy would have an effect one's ideas, feelings, moods and attitudes about social relations and social interactions.

I am still learning about such matters and so I haven't reached a final opinion which would not be open to some kind of revision. It would be interesting to know what other people here thought?

I realize that people may not be comfortable sharing their opinions here since this is a support forum and not a philosophical one. To be honest, I am not ready to share how my current thought is trending. I suspect that in these kinds of issues there is some overlap between philosophy and psychology, but maybe I am wrong. I am often wrong about things and am still on my journey!