Thanks everyone. I looked around for other housing options last night and there’s nothing affordable, and nothing to accommodate our current situation. Only solution I saw was to buy a manufactured house, which still isn’t cheap or a good deal at all, and I don’t want to invest in, or to buy a property in absolutely terrible condition. No rentals available without getting rid of some pets, and rent is very high right now. I would pay hundreds more, and have hundreds less square feet. And our mortgage just went down 100/month due to reduction in property taxes, so I went from being very happy to have that hundred for other things to feeling guilty, deflated, confused, and selfish. All the things my husband scrambles to avoid..he wants to feel pleased with himself, pumped up, confident, and in control. It’s clear how is default is to use me to make himself better and better off.

I told husband that I don’t want to move right now; I want to stay in our place to best parent our kid and take care of our pets, and manage financially. I am protecting our investment and our proceeds will still be there later. He said that is fine.

I still have a headache over it, and was fumbling papers this morning, and am feeling brain fog and body tension because of the sudden pressure from him about what he needs and what he deserves, and what I did to put him in his position.

It’s annoying. And I had to set him straight and it went fine in the end (for now) but i went through this turmoil. My stomach feels off too. My mood is off.

I had counseling last night which helps sort of, but couldn’t get another appt for a month.

I realize the problem is I have been working hard all month to solve dozens of problems and switch things as needed and do everything myself, and then I had to hear him whine and guilt trip me because he needs to feel established and successful and what does he have to do but snap his fingers and what do I do but have to keep up, facilitate everything, show up for everything, do everything, and solve everything. It makes me hate him. Luckily he backed off or I could go nuclear.