Hi Fuzzy, I truly dunno how to help you best. Just wanted to tell you I've past a couple of extremely rough patches in my life and when the waves went back to calmness I could see the horizon again. I couldn't do much till it happened, but I hope you know IT WILL happen. I was greatly surprised to see many "friends" abandon me in those times, but those few who really mattered surprised and moved me greatly. Please don't lose hope. Hugs from Spain.