I ate something and felt better. I didn't eat much for like a week (Extra Dexedrines), low blood sugar I think. This has been happening on and off for decade (I just don't notice).

But I felt almost comatose, sinking into a black hole.

I learn about the world through corruption news.. But should read a history book or something.. I'll keep trying to make an effort to read (It worked last year - And I never really read throughout my life.. Still managed to read a few books at that time...)

I'd like to learn about different countries, learn languages again.. Slowly, I will come around... I need to prioritize more important things - But also try to be happier, make the effort.. choice.

Since 3 days ago, I've only been taking my meds (As prescribed), phenibut, coffee and nicotine. It's good enough. I had a talk with my mom after telling her that I'm not messing around with impulsivity etc "But still feel really bad - It's been like this when I was 16.. before any drugs or meds".. I just need to reorientate..

Many people posting here are also similar (Anxious, depressed, disorganized) - Newtus did something really cool these past few years.. We give her a little advice and then wooosh, overcomes so many things. Still, we all struggle lots..

I'm going for a walk with my mom when she finishes work... I need to not be so clingy to death, flirting with the thing.