So I was really horny today so I decide to masturbate to my crush and then after I finished I started crying so hard thinking about how much I loved him and how heart broken I felt it was an intense feeling. I don't know why that happened but it got me thinking about how much I wanted him and after all these months how I still had feelings for him. I also felt very helpless about it and didn't want to feel anymore it was just an intensely emotional thing.